will u marry me???

Yah.., will you marry me??
itu yang dia bilang sebelum memasuki ruangan tunggu Airport.
Seketika itu juga nafasku seakan-akan berhenti, aku lupa bernafas, suply udara ke otak ku tertahan.
" Aku butuh pegangan, harus! atau aku akan jatuh karena kaki ku seakan-akan tidak bertulang" batin ku dalam hati.

Aku langsung bersandar pada besi pembatas, tak bisa berkata-kata.
Kupandangi wajah nya lama sekali, dia seakan-akan bisa membaca pikiranku.
" Just think about it, i need your answer when i come back here. And i hope i will be a good news for me, for you and for us." Dia mengecup pipi dan memelukku.

" I will miss you and dont worry i will come back here, only 3 weeks babe".
Aku tau dia mengatakan hal ini untuk menenangkan ku, menghindari air mata ini tumpah.
But who cares?? he wasnt my boyfriend anymore, he not more than friend for me.
Ok i cant lie, i feel a little bit sad, and worry.
Imagine u must take 20 hours flight from here to there. Anything could be happen, and i dont want something bad happen to him.

" Bye babe" dia melepaskan pelukannya perlahan-lahan dan menuju pintu masuk airport.

Aku menyaksikan dia perlahan-lahan menghilang dari pandanganku.
" Bye Sweetie, i will miss u", hanya ini yang bisa katakan dalam hati.
Saat ini yang bisa aku lakukan hanya berjalan tanpa menengok kebelakang dan langsung menuju mobil.
Dimobil aku langsung menyalakan rokok, Pernyataan " WIll you marry me" terlalu mengejutkan dan yang dapat membantu memperbaiki suasana hatiku hanya rokok.

Kuhisap panjang benda penyebab kanker paru itu lalu menghembuskannya secara perlahan.
Dalam hati bertanya-tanya, ada apa sebenarnya? Apa yang menyebabkan dia begitu cepat berubah pikiran? Hanya dalam selang waktu 3 hari dan semuanya berubah.

3 hari yang lalu dia masih bilang kalau hubungan kita lebih baik seperti ini, seperti dua sahabat baik.
Tapi sekarang, tanpa tedeng aling-aling dia mengatakan 4 kalimat nan manjur mujarab serta ajaib itu di depanku.
Gak ada makan malam romantis, gak ada meja dengan bunga mawar, champagne, dan juga cincin berlian 5 karat (ok kalau yang ini agak mengkhayal sedikit).

Doh.., mau terima gak yah??

Its ain't easy to say good bye

Its really2 difficult to say good bye..
and it more difficult if u still love him/her.

Thats exactly what i feel now..
one part of my heart still can't believe it..
I lose him.., he wasn't my boyfriend anymore.
I can't feel his touch, his kiss..

Everytime i passed the place or street, its always remind me of him..
everytime i saw a couple, holding hand each other i remember him..
so sad hah??
My heart bleeding, i can't stop crying
I feel incomplete..

But something happen to me..
i heard someone whispered to my ears, that this is the best way for us ( i can't even see who said that)!!
that thing happen just like that...
now i can say good bye..
even im still sad, mad, dissapointed, but now i can accept it..
that we are not belong together..

its really2 ain't easy to say goodbye, but sometime u should know and realize when u need to say good bye..

its hurt at the beginning.., but its better than u are too affraid to say that magical word..
yeah... "GOOD BYE"!!

When u are not too affraid to say I LOVE U, u should ready to say GOOD BYE..
Coz nothing stay forever..

THANKS, KAMSAM HAMNIDA, XIE XIE, KAMSIA,, MERCI

First of all, I wanna say thanks to my beloved Father. Thanks Father for give me a strengh so i can made this decision (Even its not easy, & it really hurt) and thanks bcoz You blessing me with a wonderful friends..

Thanks to Sarah Eva Elisabeth, who gave me a shoulder to cry on, who cried and laughed with me, who always trying make me happy, and i know its not easy.
How could its easy to feel happy, when your heart broken into a thousand pieces??

Thanks to Teky Widjaja Kodiasdianata, who gave me support and so patient to listen what i said.
Called me, even he know all that he can hear only "hiks hiks hiks".
He gave me strengh and teach me to find what God wants from me.

Thanks to Roy Rianto, he is my friend who always know how to put himself in different situations, he could be soo serious, or never serious.

Thanks to Dedy, coz u put Roy in a "Advanture of Tin Tin" hehehhe

Thanks to Irwan, who made a beautiful poem that exactly like my situation..
Finally i made a decision Wan, finally the Lord of Time cant control my self anymore.

Thanks to Robie, who always being my good friend, give me advice (even sometimes i like to make him mad) but he always be there for me..

Thanks 4 all my friends that i didnt say or explain here..

I'm so glad i have a wonderful friends like u guys..
i love u all..
mmuuuaaaccchhhh

WEIRD

Stranger…

I don’t know your name..

I don’t know your hobby

I don’t know your favorite foods, drinks, or sports

I don’t even know who you are..

All I know is you are a nice guy

Friend..

We start to sent email each other

We start to had phone conversation everyday

We start to made a plan for weekend

We start to hang out together

I realized you are a good friend

More than friend..

I start felt there is chemistry between us

I can’t stopped think about you

Now hugged and kissed gently..

Dating and falling in love

I felt I’m the happiest person in the world

Stranger...

Never talk about anything

Everything seems going wrong

Feel so far away from you

Can’t felt your touch, your kissed, everything felt so flat

Its weird, but now we going to be a STRANGER, like the first time we met

1998 - 2008

Kemarin, tepatnya tanggal 29 Mei 2008 kurang lebih satu tahun berselang semenjak kejadian berdarah 1998.
Siang hari, tiba2 bos ku mendapat kabar bahwa ada 1 daerah yang mengalami kekacauan dan kemungkinan mengarah ke penjarahan yang brutal.
Mendengar berita itu, langsung aja bulu kuduk merinding, betis lemas, hati pun gak bisa tenang.
Segera aku menelpon orang tua, temen2 untuk memperingati mereka tentang hal ini.

Mendadak kejadian 10 tahun lalu seperti berputar-putar di otak ku.
Kengerian, kebrutalan, ketakutan, semua seakan2 terlihat di depan mata.
Tahun 1998, aku masih duduk di bangku SMU. Saat terdengar kabar bahwa rombongan masyarakat mendekati sekolah kami langsung saja guru2 memerintahkan murid2 yang membawa mobil untuk segera memasukkan mobil ke dalam lapangan sekolah..
Fuihh, untung belum punya mobil..
Tapi susahnya gak jadi orang kaya, untuk bisa nelpon dan ngabarin orang tua aku harus keluar dari sekolah untuk mendapatkan telpon umum.
Keadaan diluar sekolah, sunyi sepi lenggang (bagi orang Medan, pasti tau gimana keadaan jl. S. parman di hari sekolah).
Telpon umum pun harus ngantri..

Akhirnya, setelah issue itu mereda kami diperbolehkan pulang lebih cepat.
Thanks to my older brother who picked me up that time..
Bayangin, naek Vespa dan dengan perasaan takut yang luar biasa.

Temen-temen, bisa bayangin gak kalo kejadian tahun1998 terulang lagi?
Kalo aku punya duit, aku lebih milih tinggal di luar negeri dech (biar miskin dan susah cari kerja yang penting aman).

Kadang membingungkan, sebenernya apa sih yang mereka tuntut??
Harga bensin diturunkan??? Apa kemungkinan itu masih ada??
Banyak orang bilang yang demon itu orang2 yang gak berpendidikan, tapi kenapa ironisnya malah mahasiswa yang konon melakukan hal itu??

Sampai kapan negeri kita ini bisa damai, tenang??
Terutama bagi kita, orang2 yang dilahirkan dengan kulit putih, mata cipit??
Selamanya kita tetap berbeda, walaupun secara hukum, kita sama.
Sama-sama orang Indonesia.
Sama-sama menginginkan kemajuan Indonesia kita...

All about me

POB : Jakarta

DOB : 17 Oct 1982

Relationship status : In Relationship

Height : 155cm (quite petite)

Weight : 40kg – 45kg (depend on my mood)

Fave colour : Black and white

Fave movie : Horror

Fave food : Too many

Fave drink : All kind of booze

Fave activity : Sleeping

Shirt size : XS, S

Pant size : 25 – 27 or 2 for US size (depend on the brand)

Bra size : 32 cup C or 34 cup C (again, depend on the brand)

Ring size : 11 (in case someone wanna buy a ring for me) :P