will u marry me???

Yah.., will you marry me??
itu yang dia bilang sebelum memasuki ruangan tunggu Airport.
Seketika itu juga nafasku seakan-akan berhenti, aku lupa bernafas, suply udara ke otak ku tertahan.
" Aku butuh pegangan, harus! atau aku akan jatuh karena kaki ku seakan-akan tidak bertulang" batin ku dalam hati.

Aku langsung bersandar pada besi pembatas, tak bisa berkata-kata.
Kupandangi wajah nya lama sekali, dia seakan-akan bisa membaca pikiranku.
" Just think about it, i need your answer when i come back here. And i hope i will be a good news for me, for you and for us." Dia mengecup pipi dan memelukku.

" I will miss you and dont worry i will come back here, only 3 weeks babe".
Aku tau dia mengatakan hal ini untuk menenangkan ku, menghindari air mata ini tumpah.
But who cares?? he wasnt my boyfriend anymore, he not more than friend for me.
Ok i cant lie, i feel a little bit sad, and worry.
Imagine u must take 20 hours flight from here to there. Anything could be happen, and i dont want something bad happen to him.

" Bye babe" dia melepaskan pelukannya perlahan-lahan dan menuju pintu masuk airport.

Aku menyaksikan dia perlahan-lahan menghilang dari pandanganku.
" Bye Sweetie, i will miss u", hanya ini yang bisa katakan dalam hati.
Saat ini yang bisa aku lakukan hanya berjalan tanpa menengok kebelakang dan langsung menuju mobil.
Dimobil aku langsung menyalakan rokok, Pernyataan " WIll you marry me" terlalu mengejutkan dan yang dapat membantu memperbaiki suasana hatiku hanya rokok.

Kuhisap panjang benda penyebab kanker paru itu lalu menghembuskannya secara perlahan.
Dalam hati bertanya-tanya, ada apa sebenarnya? Apa yang menyebabkan dia begitu cepat berubah pikiran? Hanya dalam selang waktu 3 hari dan semuanya berubah.

3 hari yang lalu dia masih bilang kalau hubungan kita lebih baik seperti ini, seperti dua sahabat baik.
Tapi sekarang, tanpa tedeng aling-aling dia mengatakan 4 kalimat nan manjur mujarab serta ajaib itu di depanku.
Gak ada makan malam romantis, gak ada meja dengan bunga mawar, champagne, dan juga cincin berlian 5 karat (ok kalau yang ini agak mengkhayal sedikit).

Doh.., mau terima gak yah??

Its ain't easy to say good bye

Its really2 difficult to say good bye..
and it more difficult if u still love him/her.

Thats exactly what i feel now..
one part of my heart still can't believe it..
I lose him.., he wasn't my boyfriend anymore.
I can't feel his touch, his kiss..

Everytime i passed the place or street, its always remind me of him..
everytime i saw a couple, holding hand each other i remember him..
so sad hah??
My heart bleeding, i can't stop crying
I feel incomplete..

But something happen to me..
i heard someone whispered to my ears, that this is the best way for us ( i can't even see who said that)!!
that thing happen just like that...
now i can say good bye..
even im still sad, mad, dissapointed, but now i can accept it..
that we are not belong together..

its really2 ain't easy to say goodbye, but sometime u should know and realize when u need to say good bye..

its hurt at the beginning.., but its better than u are too affraid to say that magical word..
yeah... "GOOD BYE"!!

When u are not too affraid to say I LOVE U, u should ready to say GOOD BYE..
Coz nothing stay forever..

THANKS, KAMSAM HAMNIDA, XIE XIE, KAMSIA,, MERCI

First of all, I wanna say thanks to my beloved Father. Thanks Father for give me a strengh so i can made this decision (Even its not easy, & it really hurt) and thanks bcoz You blessing me with a wonderful friends..

Thanks to Sarah Eva Elisabeth, who gave me a shoulder to cry on, who cried and laughed with me, who always trying make me happy, and i know its not easy.
How could its easy to feel happy, when your heart broken into a thousand pieces??

Thanks to Teky Widjaja Kodiasdianata, who gave me support and so patient to listen what i said.
Called me, even he know all that he can hear only "hiks hiks hiks".
He gave me strengh and teach me to find what God wants from me.

Thanks to Roy Rianto, he is my friend who always know how to put himself in different situations, he could be soo serious, or never serious.

Thanks to Dedy, coz u put Roy in a "Advanture of Tin Tin" hehehhe

Thanks to Irwan, who made a beautiful poem that exactly like my situation..
Finally i made a decision Wan, finally the Lord of Time cant control my self anymore.

Thanks to Robie, who always being my good friend, give me advice (even sometimes i like to make him mad) but he always be there for me..

Thanks 4 all my friends that i didnt say or explain here..

I'm so glad i have a wonderful friends like u guys..
i love u all..
mmuuuaaaccchhhh